Tuesday, March 02, 2010
Im having a bad day today.
7:50:00 PM
It's the starting of March month and how great, i wasnt in my best mood due to some personal reason and im sorry Mariana for venting out at you just now in class for disturbing me while im checking stuff over at Liana's lappy. No, it's not about kpop that makes me angry or irritated by you but personal reason ah babe. Im truly really sorry. I didnt mean to. Of course in the morning while we're doing GROUP PROJECT work for AUDIO PRODUCTION lesson, i was okay because i dont want people to spot me so i put on a fake and brave front to you people. Inside of me, there's a lot of things running through my minds and im sure Hana did caught me for daydreaming. But no matter how hard i try to put it aside, i just cant. The feeling is so strong that anytime i could break down and cry. I know some of you can spot me like Liana whose the first person; when she came into the class she asked me what's wrong with me. Secondly, Afiq. He asked me too, why am i quite today and why does my face look like im angry on someone/something. Hah. Thanks for spotting me and im quite surprise that we've been as a classmate for only 1year and 2months but its like you know me more than 5years:) I know Fadhilah saw it too but she's afraid of asking me and so she just sat beside me during AUDIO PRODUCTION lesson.
After school went to Hougang Mall to re-write the scripts for our upcoming ASSIGNMENT 2 (A2) for STUDIO PRODUCTION. Only Fadhilah, Syafiqah, Hana and Myself are there. For the rest it's ok, you guys may read it on Friday? or whichever day that has STUDIO PRODUCTION. Quite headache as to what idea we want the Talkshow will be and what's more the talent! OHGOD! So while Hana and Syafiqah are cracking up their head for the planning. Fadhilah and Myself on the other hand, went searching for our props. They wanted to design the "so-called door" with danggling things. Hah. I dont know how to explain that, im suck at this. So ermm, went to Mini Toons and its quite expensive and i told Fadhilah, it'll be wasted because we're using it only for A2 and after that, what happen? whose gonna take it? and hang where?? LOL. After much discussing with her, we both had an idea of doing our own danggling design. D.I.Y! Buy own paper, key rings from popular or whichever stationery shops that sells :) and yeah, we told Hana and Syafiqah about it and they agree to it. Heh. So now i dont know whether they are buying it or not since Hana said her area sells those danggling thingy at a cheaper price:/
Halfway before going home, Edwin meet us at Hougang Mall to pass him the bursary letter and he sat down with us. We talked over at Macdonalds about our own group's ASSIGNMENT 1 (A1) and ASSIGNMENT 2 (A2) planning.
Reached home around 6plus? Im so tired. *sigh. My LS PROJECT i havent finish it -_- Kalau tak hantar bole tak? Sungguh tak perlu gitu~ *sigh. Tomorrow discussing of A2 at the Recording room again since the group2 are filming their A1. Best of luck to you people. Wish the Vision Mixer and Tape Recording doesnt spoil. *cross fingers!
'Im not bragging over a small matter but i know somehow i feel useless towards 'you'. I know 'you' feel like i didnt care about 'you' but you're wrong. I did care. I did told 'you' before and 'you' said it's ok, 'you' understand and this is the path i wanted so i have to endure it but now when things get a little bit tougher, all 'you' could do was blaming me for being so busy. Didnt say that i didnt warn 'you', i did. Is it wrong if 'you' could at least give initiative when 'you' know im that busy? At least a sweet text could make me smile even if it's for awhile. If 'you' said.. "DO I DESERVE IT?" Then think again, how about me? Do 'you' think i wanted it to be this way?? Do 'you' think i jolly-well make myself stress/busy for no reason?? Do 'you' think i make this all up just to what? Ignore 'you'?? To tell 'you' the truth, i dont have time to make such excuses. When im free, 'you' dont and when im not, 'you're free. So do 'you' think that all this things happened is my plan?? We dont know what the future holds nor our own fate/destiny. All i want is for 'you' to understand my situation that im in. Imagine if 'you're in my position, what will 'you' do to make it right? Apart from that, 'you' have to juggled with projects.. Lots of it and your lecturer keep on pushing 'you' to do a good job and to get a good grades when graduating. All this thing did you think about it?? As months/years passed by, things are not what 'you' think it'll be. As level increases, it gets tougher. Now no more easy level, it's difficult level.'
P.S: Those bold words are to EMPHASIZE to let 'someone' know!